Subj: In regards to a recent television appearence.
Date: 11/5/2004 7:03:32 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Randofo1

Mr. Kerrey,

We met briefly not too long ago. However, we didn't get a chance to speak much because I was busy choking to near death on a gulp of water that went down the wrong way. You probably don't remember me. It's okay. I forgive your lapse in memory and its really not important either which way. What is important is that I thought of writing to you because I saw you on television a couple days ago and you were fresh in my mind. Television has been a great source of motivation lately. While I was watching the electoral votes roll on in, I was inspired by the constant banter about the potential flip-flopping of New Mexico to call my uncle. He is not a flip-flopper, a pair of flip flops or even a pancake chef. He lives in Santa Fe. I think he was happy to hear from me. It's always nice when people like to hear from you. That is beside the point. The point is that I also saw a lot of president re-elect Bush on that glowing picture tube. Once again, I was inspired. Don't get me wrong, I didn't call him up. He's not my uncle and I don't have his phone number. So, not having much else of a choice, I sent him an email. An email much like the one I'm sending you. An hour or so after sending it, I got back an automated response telling me that the president has better things to do than read my e-mail. I was highly disappointed. He doesn't seem like a man with anything better to do than read my e-mails. That is, assuming that he can read at all. Anyway, I began thinking about how much I really didn't care for the president... and how much I much rather have a much better president... and then I thought of you. Well, you see, I was standing around the tenth floor lab the other night after class and someone rigged up a really bad set of rabbit ear antennas to the new high definition plasma screen television. Well, the transmission of the NTSC frequency is clearly not compatible with high definition television. It almost defeats the point. The point being that we were standing around jabbering about the American political process when we saw you come onto the television and all. I don't remember what channel it was, but I remember saying to everyone, "That's my president." Everyone nodded in agreement. After all you are the president of the New School and we are all students of the New School, so there wasn't much to debate. Then again, I don't remember voting for you and I'm not exactly sure how you were elected to your position, but really, I don't suppose that is all that important. Regardless of how you were elected president, of all the presidents I have, I think I like you the most. So, anyway, I probably wouldn't have bothered to e-mail you to tell you that I like you better than Bush if I had not remembered seeing you the night before on television and commenting to all of my friends at the time about how much I like you better than Bush as a presidential figure. Actually, I didn't comment to all of my friends. They all weren't there. Only some of them were there and not all of them were my friends per se. Some were just people that I was casually aquatinted with. You know, just people that I run into in the lab from time to time. But I won't take up any more of your time with an analysis of my social practices. I just wanted to thank you for doing an exemplary job of representing the New School on live national television. That is, even if the New School was not mentioned at any point in any shape or form. Thank you all the same.

Randy Sarafan