Subj: In regard to land whales.
Date: 11/28/2004 2:44:49 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Randofo1

Dearest Winnie:

I lied about that. This has nothing to do with land whales. But now that I have your attention, I really just wanted to say hi. I have not heard from you in a while. As such, I thought I would arrange words for you into sentences and sentences into a letter and a letter into an email or something of the sort. I hope you like it. It doesn't matter either which way, whether you like it or not really, but it would be much more purposeful of endeavor if you actually liked it. Anyway, thats beside the point. There isn't much point really to write to you. You have never been a president of any sort as far as I know. Not of America. Not of the New School. Not of Iran. Are there presidents in Iran or do they call their leaders something else? Never mind. In the grands scheme of all of existence, it's not important. And in the grand scheme of existence and all, no offense or anything, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that much like anyone else, neither are you. But, before you hate me forever, let me point out that neither am I for that matter... or the President of the USA or whatever... or this letter... or the letter to the Senator from North Dakota, which is a state that clearly does not exist. Anyway, I didn't write to you to inform you that the President of North Dakota doesn't exist in any regard. And I didn't write to you for the reason I normally write to people, that being because I saw you on TV and it seemed like a good idea to bother you because you are supposedly famous and culturally important or something. I have never seen you on television, you don't have your own signature iPod thats color coordinated with your new album, and as far as I know, you have nothing to do in any way with the state of New Mexico (which has nothing to do with being famous or culturally important no less). I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but you must have realized that already on your own. Anyway, the point is, in spite of the fact that you are equally as insignificant as just about anyone and everyone else ever to exist, I am writing you this letter. Although, you can look at it on the brighter side of the matter and all. That side, the half full cup of the coin, being that you are conversely equally significant and important as just about everyone and anyone else ever to exist in the whole of the universe and as such, I'm writing you this letter. If you've really been paying attention, you would have noticed by now I have just said a whole load of nothing. But anyway, to get back on track, I just wanted to say hi. Well... Hello. How are you? Hope all is well.

Randy Sarafan