|To whom it may concern:
I would like to thank you for your generosity in providing me with a free hat. However, I don't intend to sound ungrateful, but you seemed to have misplaced your "viral" advertising campaign for "Two-Headed Dog" upon your gift to me. As such, I have taken it upon myself to remove said logo from said hat with the noble intention of returning it to its proper owner. Please provide me with a mailing address as to where I can return your little, red, two-headed, doggy logo (and necessary stitching). I look forward to all of MTV Network's future acts of charity. You are truly a pillar of the community.
Fax: (212) 229-5941