Subject: I like your list.
Date: Tue, 5 Apr 2005 13:01:47 -0700 (PDT)
I once knew this guy named Craig. He was really into the band Journey. Are you really into Journey? Danica is kind of really into Journey. I met her on your list. The New York City section of your list. I quite like your list because I quite like Danica. I suppose that's what my professor from four years ago that used to train monkeys would consider superstitious behavior. I saw her in Kennedy Airport about a year ago on my way home from visiting my uncle in New Mexico. I don't remember her name, but I said hi all the same. She didn't seem all that thrilled to see me, albeit, she used to tell me all the time how much she liked my work. Maybe she was strung-out from traveling. Any which way, she likes your list too. No no, I'm not talking of my ex-professor whose name I can't seem to remember, I mean Danica. She reads it regularly. That is how she found me. Yes, I put myself at the mercy of your not-for-profit list-thing and it served me well. It served me much better than the time I put myself at the mercy of the UN. The UN is completely useless. They can't stop the spread of AIDS in Africa. They turn a blind eye to countless bloody atrocities. They can't even find me a girlfriend. Yeah, I sent a fax to Kofi himself requesting that the UN do everything in its power to find me a girlfriend. It all came to nil. Not a single little lady to show for it. With the millions and billions of girls in this world, the UN couldn't come up with one. But craigslist... YES! CRAIGSLIST! craigslist came up with three. One was completely unremarkable. The other liked to knit, wanted to be a theatrical clown, worked at Barcade and was a dull annoying hipster from Williamsburg. But, the third... YES! THE THIRD! The third one is Danica and I love Danica and she loves me and that is why the UN is useless and craigslist is not. I think the UN should in fact be replaced by craigslist. Take third world debt relief for instance, I think third world debt relief is something craigslist can handle. I see posts all the time where people are begging for money to pay off their debts. I'm sure some of those ads must pay out. If people can pay off their own personal debts with the aid of craigslist, well then, Burundi should be able to get something going. I'm sure they can make a more convincing argument then some Jewish girl who has recently graduated from college with a twenty-thousand dollar credit card bill that is looking for a nice Jewish guy to perform a "big mitzvah" and fast. Anyway, lets forget about my sister's debt for a moment. We're talking about Burundi. I mean, with the average income of a citizen of Burundi... a Burundan? a Burundian? well, I guess it's not important. What is more important, with the average income of ninety-nine percent of the population being a dollar a week or less, they wouldn't need to hit people up for all that much to be far better off than they were to begin with. I think the craigslist community would really take to their ads. I can see it already:
African nation where ninety-nine percent of the population makes a dollar a week or less seeking some serious charity from anyone. Anything will do. Will try to repay however possible. Thanks a lot.
You know once the patron saints of craigslist start perusing all these ads of international injustice, inequality and wrongdoing, the personal checks are gonna start dropping like the beats at a dub reggae concert. We don't need to prostrate ourselves on the steps of the world bank to raise funds for the poor citizens of Burundi. All we need is some generous suckers on craigslist. There probably is no shortage of them. After all, craigslist is supported by the self-interest and disinterested amusement of an innumerable, unnameable, international community of slightly affluent, socially conscious, desk-jockeys. I think with a little readjustment, craigslist could become the Wikipedia of international governance. And you, Craig, you could be the new Kofi and we could all call you "The New Kofi." Or maybe not because it wouldn't make any sense if Craig of Craigslist was "The New Kofi" of Craigslist. No sense at all. Sorry. Any which way. Thanks for Danica.
You rock my world,