From: Randofo1
To: omar@scartissue.tv
Subject: In regard to your life plans.
Date: Sun, 20 Nov 2005 12:22:27 -0500

Esteemed Omar of Florida:

After considering all possible interpretations of your rant against living in Miami and you rant about CPB, I have decided that I probably don't want to move to Miami and work for CPB. Albeit, truth be told, I have yet to get a definitive job offer from CPB and should they approach me with a reasonable offer, I probably would seriously consider it. Regardless, there are more pressing matters at hand. You see, I am thoroughly confused and would very much appreciate if you went forth and clarified a certain point that I probably should have pushed at the time. This has to do with the subject of Argentina and my proposal that you should move there. After all, that is a perfectly valid proposal considering that rampant corruption has left their economy more or less decimated. Or in other words, it is damn cheap to live there, especially if your life style consists of eating twenty-four ounce steaks every night, cruising the strip in your Porsche and going clubbing with coked-up models. Then again, I wouldn't know. That's not my lifestyle and I really can't speak of it personally. However, since I have always been inclined to believed that such a lifestyle was yours, then living in Argentina should be the way to go. Now, here is where I'm confused, when I proposed saving money on your flamboyant lifestyle by moving to Argentina, the poorest country in the world, you said that you were already there. Last I checked, which was about a week ago when I went to Miami myself, the city was still not located in Argentina. Yes, Miami is not in Argentina. Miami is still in Florida, which is still in America, which is still in Earth's northern hemisphere. Where as Argentina is its own country in Earth's southern hemisphere. The two places are nowhere close. Obviously you can only be in one of these places. Albeit, you claim to be trying to leave Miami, you admitted point blank that you were already in Argentina. So, the question becomes, why would you want to leave one place if you were already somewhere else? The simple answer to this question, as I see it, is that much like Polanski's Chinatown or Gilliam's Brazil, Miami is a state of mind. Not so much a place, per se, but a mindset. This would explain how you could be living in Argentina and wanting to leave Miami. I don't blame you for wanting to leave Miami. The superficial life of big steaks, fast cars and loose, coke sniffing, women must get tiring after a while. Omar, even though I always imagined you, in your private life outside of Parsons, to be kind of like James Bond but less important to the welfare of the future of western society, you always seemed like the type of man that would chose the examined life over metaphorical Miami. Yes, you seemed like a man seeking a life of quiet reflection, but trapped in the lifestyle of pointless excess. It does not surprise me in the slightest that you want to leave your metaphorical Miami. The drug cartels and hurricanes tormenting your mind obviously won't give you even but a moment to dwell upon the essence of Being. You clearly are an individual torn between two worlds, that of Miami and that of reality. Now, I'm not saying that you should necessarily leave Miami. That really is a decision you must make on your own or possibly with a certified psychotherapist. You don't really need to see a psychiatrist. You don't seem like the type of person who needs psychiatric drugs in spite of your delusions of Miami. Then again, I went to school for design, what do I know about mental health? At the very least, I would advise that you seek out a psychotherapist first and if need be, they would be more than happy to refer you to a psychiatrist. That really is my two cents on the issue. I'm poor. I can't really afford to contribute much more than that. Actually, have you tried being poor? A life of ascetic discipline might do you good and help you to repent for all of those nights of red meat and hopped-up debauchery. Maybe you should quit your job and discard all your possessions and go back to school like you were considering. There is no better way to stay out of metaphorical Miami than with thirty thousand dollars of combined student loans and credit card debt. I'd like to see you try seducing strippers on that kind of budget. You're not going to be able to convince any of those high class debutantes to ride the L-train back to your railroad apartment in Bushwick. Yes, a life of study would render porsche cruising, steak gouging and model mauling more or less dead to you. Only through education and a world of debt can you veritably leave Miami. I hope I have been of help.

Your Friend,
Randy Sarafan